I am teaching one of my daughters how to drive with her learner’s permit. My car, BTW, has a manual transmission. So, my daughter gets the additional benefit of learning the art of smooth, manual up-shifting and downshifting, etc. The enjoyable art of driving. I am very proud of how well she is doing.
The point of this post is that these driving lessons reaffirm for me (that I also share with my daughter) the notion that our driving ideally should mirror how we live, generally.
That is, during these driving lessons I suggest to my daughter that she needs always to be in control of her own driving framework. This means not hooking into some other driver’s framework. This also means driving in a courteous, cooperative manner, but still only within my daughter’s own framework.
Here is an example. There is a slow driver in the right lane, rolling along in an idiot-like manner (we have all seen this), slowing down and speeding up for no apparent reason, continuing to move along indecisively with a continuous left-turn signal on. Some drivers see this slow driver and themselves get distracted, yes distracted, by trying to get into the head of the slow driver, pondering or wondering: “I don’t know what that driver is doing. Why do they keep moving along with a turn-signal but not making any turn or change? What do you think they are doing? Maybe I should slow down until I know what they are doing, etc.”.
This can become a dangerous distraction. I tell my daughter not to waste her time or mental energy trying to ponder and get inside that other slow driver’s head or try and guess what that other driver’s framework might be, other than my daughter making sure she drives defensively past this other driver. The solution is to get away from that slow driver and move on without additional distraction.
Sure, my daughter needs to consider if this slow driver is a danger or threat (yes, he is), but then simply move on and get away from that driver. The main point: Don’t get distracted and pulled into someone else’s framing of any situation. Maintain your own framework. Continue with focus on your own perspective.
By analogy life requires the same focused, perspective. Don’t get caught up, or waste your time, in another’s (especially an idiot) framework or in that other person’s head. It’s dangerous.