A couple days prior to this 2023 Father’s Day, a young law student with whom I have been providing occasional mentoring, recently agreed to a starting associate lawyer position with a large law firm, subject to a minimum annual mandate of 2,200 billable hours. This 2,200 quota is not, in itself, unusual or atypical. Assuming a lawyer works 50 weeks a year, leaving the remaining two weeks for leisure, all holidays, family matters, medical-dental appointments, CLE (continuing legal education), this law student will have to achieve 44 billable hours per week — for each of the 50 weeks — to satisfy this minimum 2,200 hour requirement. Welcome to law practice.
But, this post is not about billable hours. That element helped operate as a catalyst for this blog post. The key point I include in this post, and ponder each Father’s Day, is that my late father Edward Kane, himself a lawyer, without ever preaching to us, allowed (and fostered) my brothers and me to develop strong independence with no notion of living our lives at the dictate, demands, or preferences of anyone. My father emphasized working hard, doing a good job, trying as best as possible to be a cooperative team player, but that one’s aim in life ideally is ultimately to find ways of experiencing fundamentally a more enjoyable response to life; however that pathway plays out.
This post, coincidentally, also is prompted by my finally within the past few weeks having read the entire 600+ page handwritten journal my late father maintained from 1939 up until 1953 or so when my father married and started our family. [Due to the journal’s handwritten density, I recently had a professional transcriber convert the journal to text for ease of reading.]
This journal is abundant with the ebb and flow of my father’s attempts to reconcile, on one hand, a goal of obtaining a more enjoyable response to life, and on the other hand, the moneyed demands of law practice, with its pressure for lawyers to placate and ingratiate themselves persistently among clients, ideally wealthy, in order to be among the most “successful”, public-eye, top-billing lawyers.
I start with the ending here. My father in his journal essentially concluded that one can (and practically must) remain within the competitive arena of life, but simultaneously can keep moving in the direction of an enhanced enjoyable response to life by tuning into (and constantly re-tuning), to the extent possible, an element of religious (pantheistic from his view) and esthetic experience. The rational, practical, work-family-everydayness of life alone — absent these additional factors — will have otherwise an insidious dulling effect on life. He wrote:
11.30.50 [journal entry]
“A passionately held belief in the possibility of a better life, a belief amounting to a hypothesis on which one is prepared to act, but at the same time, a belief & hypothesis which we are prepared to re-examine critically & with our full powers of observation & intelligence at all times. That is what we need and I think we can have it: I think that Plato & Spinoza and others will help us to have such a belief & that we are wiser to take our own passion & inspiration from them while refusing to accept their metaphysics to the extent that application of scientific inquiry & testing shows such metaphysics to be without demonstrable foundation.”
For readers who prefer only this short introductory read, the following journal entry is my father’s then-retrospective articulation of what had led him to began his quest leading up to his above conclusory ideas:
09.28.53 [journal entry]
“For approximately ten years after I got out of law school, I put almost my entire time and energy into an effort to become outstanding and excel at my work practising law; and my work was praised, more than was good for me, by a good many clients as well as by my associates. During this ten years, no religious experience, practically no esthetic experience, no understanding of people or of the human heart, nothing but a tensely strained and over-driven calculating machine operating entirely in the realm of cold, grey, abstract, logical, quasi-mathematical legal phrases, principles and reasoning. In short, a conical, pitiful, vain, empty and shallow intellectual haven. Thank God for the instinct that began to tell me that this was no way to live, an instinct that was greatly strengthened by four years of the outdoor life in the Army, much of it spent in the outdoors.”
Now, for readers who might find interest in more of the particulars. My father started his legal career as an aggressive, successful, hard-charging lawyer, graduating during the height of the Great Depression from Vanderbilt Law School, first in his class, and the only classmate who landed a law job immediately upon graduation. He began his career in Atlanta with the law firm Sutherland, Tuttle & Brennan.
While at the Sutherland firm my father in 1942 was drafted into the Army (WWII), having prior to enlistment applied for an officer’s Commission that would have enabled him to remain stateside as an officer-lawyer. But the Commission had not yet come through at the time my father received his draft notice. A few months into Army basic training at Ft. Bragg (N.C.), his Commission came through and was available ASAP.
However, my father turned down his Commission, having concluded while still in basic training that it was not equitable that he simply remain stateside as a commissioned officer-lawyer, especially when so many others had no such option or opportunity. Primarily as an artillery forward observer with the infantry, my father eventually rose, while in Europe, to the rank of Captain in the Army 307th Field Artillery Battalion of the 78th Infantry Division, receiving both a Bronze Start and Purple Heart. I previously wrote about this Commission situation. Click here for my previous post.
In 1945 my father returned from the Army back to the Sutherland firm. He, thereafter, resigned in 1950. His journal is replete with entries surrounding his return from WWII and his resignation. In short, and this was well known within the Sutherland firm, my father and Bill Sutherland simply could not mutually co-exist.
Within a year or so of his resignation, my father returned to law practice with a group of lawyers who ultimately became part of Alston & Bird, from which my father retired many years later at the end of his 45-year lawyering career.
The broader dissatisfaction my father expressed in his journal leading up to his 1950 resignation was the atmosphere in law practice of the money-making, grasping desire always to attract and maintain wealthy clients that my father concluded had become simply too dull and shallow for the way in which he wished to experience life. Upon his resignation my father also resigned from the East Lake Country Club (Atlanta) and the Piedmont Driving Club (Atlanta), purposely stepping away from these other elements of his pre-WWII life.
Now, is the above discussion relevant directly to anyone reading this blog post? I hope so. My purpose with this post is not to suggest any particular action, pathway, or ultimate balance for anyone, including the young law student I referred to above. But, rather, to suggest strongly that every person, including all lawyers, traversing the pathway of their careers not lose sight of their own quest in moving always in the direction of seeking their own pathway. Never accede or relinquish to anyone else, nor in acquiescence to any particular dogma or norm, the guiding light of your own pathway. If, for example, you thrive on being the largest, billable producer in your law firm, that is fine. Simply make sure it is something emanating from within you that moves you in the direction of your most enjoyable response to life. There is no right or wrong pathway.
Below are a few excerpts from my father’s journal that are particularly relevant to this blog post:
06.22.40 [journal entry prior to WWII]
“How ambitious am I? I‘m not sure. . . . Really the success I desire is a difficult kind. It is to accumulate, not money, but a real philosophy & culture; a broadened perspective, a real courage & fortitude; an independence of mind, etc. If I can continue to develop along these lines, I will really be somebody in my own eyes, and the money and vainglory can go. Pursuing character and culture, I think I will for the most part be reasonably happy, Pursuing solely money & prestige, I think I would be most unhappy.”
01.2.49 [journal entry after WWII]
“Maybe I am now where I was in the Army just before I asked to be sent up with the infantry. Common-sense & conservation said stay in service battery – but the urge to live more fully & to taste more of the real excitement of life drove me to leave – and I think it was perhaps the best decision I ever made.”
05.21.50 [journal entry]
“In the war, when I went up with the infantry I felt for the first time that I was really doing something that accounted to something worthwhile, up to then I felt so ‘no account’.”
06.10.50 [journal entry]
“Now it seems to me that here is much food for thought. Is life so bare of something really interesting and worthwhile that the remaining thirty or more years must be one long anti-climax to the intensity of life in those few months of 1944-1945? Well, it may be so, but I’m not prepared as yet to admit it. . . .
And I know, with a equal degree of assurance, that one of the chief causes of my dissatisfaction & unhappiness since 1945 was getting back into contact with so many people who were so engrossed with the idea of making more money than the other people around them that they lost all genuine warmth of friendliness.”
04.6.52 [journal entry]
“Most of our competition today is for sordid goals and is carried on by sordid means, with position and influence taking the place of strength and courage of mind & body; but this is no reason for concluding that all competition is bad and that one should become a non-competitor. Much as we worship money, would not many of us choose to be a frontiersman in Kentucky of several centuries ago, living in poverty and in danger but with adventure and zest for daily activities, rather than to be at that time the spoiled son of a rich merchant in London, doing no work and passing his time with cards and whisky and the like? The choice would not be on any word grounds at all but would go at the type of life offering more zest. The thing neglected today is feeling. There’s no feeling, in the passionate and intense sense I’m thinking of, in making or spending money, getting your picture in the paper, drinking whisky etc. These things aren’t so much bad as they are dull.”